The Day After HUMIRA D DAY. . .

We never expected a miraculous cure!  Never expected things to feel great immediately!  We never expected the emotional fall out between us after the injections!!

The nurse was lovely and great and early for the appointment.  My hubs the perfect student in learning how to stab this injection into his leg for the next 12 weeks at least.  He had to have two; the nurse called it a "loading" dose.  I watched fascinated as eventually once all checks were done and the nurse felt hubs was pretty clear what he was about to do, when hubs placed the injection pen at the 90 degree angle over his thigh, thumb poised... Then he just pushed..... Pop and hiss.  The noise of the needle and medication being dispensed. 

Wow, I was totally shocked and then realised I couldn’t watch again and made for the door to go get tissue in case the injection area should bleed (good excuse I thought).  I was expecting hubs to have completed the second pen push when I came back into the room to witness the next one that I had actually tried to avoid!

What a shock it is to see your loved one receive anything like this.  It was all so civilised yet brutal.  The first one didn’t hurt so much hubs said, but the second one, in the other thigh must of caught a muscle or something because hubs swore when he did that one!!!

And the brutal emotional fall out through the day showed its toll when we picked and pushed each other verbally to the point of an unnecessary argument.  FFS, we are best mates and lovers and hubs and wife.  Both of us drained from the stress and the waiting game we have had to play these last few months.

Leading up to all this, the lesions and lumps have got worse, hubs is feeling the pain of this horrible condition at a level that is flooring him most days.  His stubborn streak and need to work providing him with a headspace that’s all over the place, concentration shot to bits.

Hubs apologising to me for putting ME through it?  Excuse me, but who is the sufferer here hubs – YOU!  So don’t say sorry to me, am here for you I say!

So, we aint expecting miracles.  Especially when a boil burst today (the day after the injection).  How can you expect much more than what you are currently experiencing.  You can’t imagine another zone yet.  You can only wait, watch and see.

Later we are going to take pictures.  We want to record what the skin is like now and hope that in a couple of weeks, we will see a big difference.  By that time it will be 2 weeks after D DAY.

Today, hubs is still floored.  Pain killers really don’t work. 

Yesterday there were lots of tears, lots of why me’s and lots of FFSs. 

Today there is acceptance of the now.