Hubs says he is putting me through hell. . . But i reckon he has his own style of hell going on and there is not a damn thing i can do about it. Except be there to listen and comfort and maybe comment.
I listen. I hear. Is there a difference? Probably. But i don't just have my ears open. My eyes are often wide open and take it all in and my eyes help me when maybe i just didn't hear it right or listen properly. My eyes tell me when HS is being horrible shite. And i guess my eyes are wide open when i see what hell my hubs happens to be going through at any one moment in the day. I don't always need to hear or listen cos i can see it and YES my eyes have heard it all and still hubs is having the best of hellish times.
I comfort. Do i? Do i really comfort? Defining Comfort. A sense of physical or psychological ease. Is that me? Can i generate that? I think i do in my own way but i can't see how because all i see is hubs internal and external struggle with the HS. Maybe i am hubs comfort zone now. I am the only one close enough to hear and see what hubs goes through each and every day.
I comment. Perhaps not always the comments hubs wants to hear but we are way past ignoring the obvious. Let's just say that as far as HS is concerned i am as well read on the subject anyone can be because that's how i deal with things. For me information is everything. And information is all i got in my back up plan to listen, comfort and comment.
Look after you. X
Ps 2nd week and third Humira injection was Wednesday. But in the last 7 days HS is back with a vengeance after hubs had some respite from bloody high pain and less leaks to right now when the pain killers are not even touching the sides and new lesions have appeared. My comment? It's too early to know if the Humira is going to help and too soon after the combination anti biotics finished to know if they helped either. For hubs though HS and new treatment has dragged his emotional self over the coals and all i can do now is listen and comfort.
Oh, Ali, you are such a good loving wife to your hubby! I so admire the love and friendship you both share with each other. I can tell from the way you write how much you love this man! Bless you for your caring, loving & supportive nature! I know your hubby realizes what a treasure you are... Praying for some better success with his treatment... Love & Hugs! <3
ReplyDeleteHi Ali. So glad to find a blog from an 'HS Wife' point of view. Its so hard to have HS, and even harder to know that the person you love has to endure it with you. My hubby has been so great, so comforting to me and even though I appreciate all he does, I hate that he has to be a part of the madness that is my HS. You are so strong, for not giving up and not running away, like so many have done to those with HS. Here's hoping the Humira is the answer for your Hubby. :)
ReplyDeleteAli, I am too a HS wife. In fact, I didn't know that my husband had this until after we were married. Since he finally broke down and told me and showed me, I have been reading everything I can on this awful disease. It pisses me off as well, to see him in pain. To constantly wash underwear and linens, etc because of stains, but know it's not his fault, but this crap that he has. He still won't see the doctor about it, but I'm hoping to get him there soon. Thanks for your blog. It's nice to know I'm not alone.
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